forgiveness

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   ”Imagine that every person in the world is enlightened but you. They are all your teachers, each doing just the right things to help you learn perfect patience, perfect wisdom, perfect compassion.” – Gautama Buddha

 

I love this quote! And I truly believe in living by it. Everyone can teach me something if I slow down enough to look for it and if I am humble enough to receive it.

My daughter teaches me about laughter and play on a daily basis – and to not take myself so seriously.
My sons teach me about pride, the passage of time, and how to hold each precious moment.
My husband teaches me spirituality, patience, perseverance, commitment, and how to stand up for myself.
My friends teach me consistency, trust, and how to be a friend.
My counseling clients teach me compassion and gratitude.
My coaching clients teach me discipline, courage, acceptance, and letting go.
My family teaches me forgiveness, self-awareness, and love.
Strangers remind me that I don’t know everything, and how powerful something as simple as a smile can be.

What will others teach you today?

If I can do it you can do it!

 

We are the only species that endures consequences for our mistakes/shortcomings more than one time. We do something that we consider imperfect or we fall short of our expectations, and then we spend much of our time berating ourselves for our “failures”.

Put the bat away. Stop beating yourself up. This is one of the most unproductive ways that our brains believe they are helping us when they are not. Our brains think that if they make us feel really badly about our actions (releasing chemicals that make us feel negative feelings and deplete our energy), we will not repeat the actions. This is completely nonsensical.

Productive thought is simple. Walk through the scenario once, maybe twice and ask yourself these questions:

1 – Given the information that I had available to me at the time, did I do my best?

2 – Given the information that I have now (hindsight), is there anything I can do to amend the situation (apologize, clean up the mess, set a boundary, forgive, etc.)?

3 – How can I behave differently in the future should this scenario present itself again?

4 – Am I willing to commit to practice behaving differently should this come up again?

I sometimes beat myself up for not “doing” enough. I have friends that work full-time, are full-time parents, write books, travel to exotic locations, and cook dinner every night for their families. While my daughter prefers the snack-type meals that I prepare for her, I sometimes feel “less than” those who appear to be doing more. I have to continually remind myself that I am doing my best. I am doing my best to manage my time. I am doing my best to define who I am and set my priorities accordingly. I am not everybody else; I am me. I am good enough. I am doing enough.

What good is an accomplishment if the road getting there is full of self-flagulation?

If I can do it, you can do it!

“The point isn’t to live without any regrets. The point is to not hate ourselves for having them.” – Kathryn Schulz

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